"One thing I do to lessen this weird insecurity laser beam is to turn off comments. Yes, I keep comments off on my posts. That way, I’m showing my friends and fans updates on my life, but I’m training my brain to not need the validation of someone telling me that I look 🔥🔥🔥... I think it’s healthy for your self-esteem to need less internet praise to appease it, especially when three comments down you could unwittingly see someone telling you that you look like a weasel that got hit by a truck and stitched back together by a drunk taxidermist. "
SOCKS - NIKE
BAG -TOPSHOP
I realise Taylor had very different reasons for doing this for herself: haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate... And I don't exactly get any hate but I think I maybe subconsciously rely on the public reassurance that Instagram comments give me. You're telling me I'm pretty and you're telling me in front of all these other people, a lovely little ego boost- an extra bit of serotonin for my depressed soul. I just don't want it anymore, if someone desperately wants to pay me a compliment, or have a chat, my messages are open and that way, with no audience, it is a more personal interaction.
Another thing I started to think about regarding Instagram comments is that often they can be for selfish gain by the author. I don't presume this of anyone at all but inevitably if you're commenting on someone's photos, a few of their followers might head over to your profile for a nosey. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, it just made me realise that I'm after a bit more sincerity and transparency regarding my online self. I am me, I am not the comments on a post.
Essentially, I don't want to ever need internet praise, especially in any sort of public capacity, I will still comment on photos I'm fond of because it is honestly just a habit, but I'm going to make more of an effort to turn these into far more personal interactions. I absolutely live for friendship and love in the world and I love seeing other Man City players comment on Leroy Sane's posts telling him he looks fire (because damn straight, he does) but it's also funny to think that actually, that's none of my business? I should be an outsider in that interaction. Possibly a weird example but it's what came to mind...
I'm also really bloody hoping that my decision to do this doesn't come across as vanity or self-importance because it genuinely is just for my sanity. I think it's for the best, for me. My comments will always be on, on my blog, and I'll always be reachable. The only concern I have about doing this is that I may be shooting my self in the foot in regards to Instagram stats, and gaining followers or whatever but I'm just gonna have to shrug that off- maybe that's part of the problem too.
If you have any thoughts on all this, please pop-up to me somewhere for a chat because I'd really like to know what you think.
IWx
*gifted item in return for instagram content/ not a paid AD